A Helping Hand

Today I want to thank everyone that helps out with Kayla and those who have offered me help whenever I need it, I won't mention names, because I don't want to leave anyone out, but you know who you are. The only people I will mention is my mom and my boyfriend, I don't think raising a child is a one person job, it shouldn't be, and I admire those who do have to do it on their own. There's no way I can repay my mom for all these years she's been there for me, she's taken care of three of her own and now she's helping with her granddaughter. But in this blog I would like to write about the daddies, because I think, for most of them, it's more difficult to bond with their little baby and do all the things that come so naturally to most women.

In my opinion, the fathers should start early on, help get the baby's room ready, getting baby clothes, fixing up the clothes to take to the hospital... This should all be done by the couple, not just by the woman. The fathers should also be included in the baby showers, I wish my boyfriend had been there when I opened all those presents, I know I didn't make Kayla all on my own, so why not include them in everything about the new baby? The fathers might not feel they can do anything, they might think they don't know how and so many times I've told my boyfriend that I also had never changed nappies or looked after a baby, the answer he used to give me was: "But you're a woman". Ok, I won't argue with that, most woman have that instant maternal instinct, I'm so happy I did, but that's not an excuse not to help out, practice makes perfect, no ones born knowing, everyone has to learn. When guys help out, they must remember they're not only helping the (tired) mother, but they're helping the baby as well and what most men might not even think of is that they're helping their bond grow stronger, which should be done early on. Doing all these things aren't very difficult if you practice everyday, take turns doing what has to be done, woman need to help the fathers be a part of the baby's day to day. My boyfriend helps me a lot, he didn't always take initiative, because he thought he wouldn't know how, but I would insist with him and let him take care of Kayla on his own, he still has some difficulties, like dressing her and I sometimes ask myself: "How come he can't dress a little baby and can build a house all on his own?". There are still things that just I do and there are very few times when I'm really tired and I need him to jump in and save the day. But I must say, he does help out a lot, not only with Kayla but with cleaning the house too, lucky for me he was never one to say "That's a woman's job" and I hate that saying, even more so when coming out a woman's mouth! If they dirty, they can clean, why must we get left with all the work? The first few months you might not see much reward from helping, but when baby starts to interact with you, you'll be happy you helped make the bond between you grow. When Kayla hears someone opening the house door she already screams out Pappai, when I tell her to give him a hug or a kiss she does and when I tell her to call him she shouts out for him, she loves her daddy and her daddy loves her, I just love seeing them together.

This all to say, fathers, join in the fun and hard work of child raising, you'll be glad you did!