Peanut's beginning

This Blog is dedicated to my "Peanut".

Peanut is the nickname given to my unborn baby by my best friend (Carla). When she saw the first scan I had done, she said it looked like a peanut, so the name stuck and spread like a bush fire!

I've always wanted to write something, but after trying a few times, gave up, thought I never had the gift, maybe I don't, but she said I don't have to know how to write, I just write from my heart. She gave me the idea to write for my baby, so I decided to follow her advice, and here it is. I might not be the best writer, but hopefully I'm not the worst. I don't exactly know what I'll write or for how long this will last, but it's something new I'll try, the beginning of a Blog, the beginning of a new life.

I am now about 15 weeks pregnant, the baby's dew in early July and already everyone loves it! Next month I'll see if everything's in order and I'll see what sex it is! I'm so excited to find out! Personally I would like a girl, to be like her mom, but I'll love the baby whether boy or girl, how couldn't I?!

I'm not going to say I was totally happy and totally surprised when I found out I was pregnant, deep down inside I suspected I was, although I tried to deny it. I look back now at things I've done in my life, things I never dreamed I would do and said I'd NEVER do, and if I had seen other people doing them without those experiences, I wouldn't have been so understanding. To some, what I've done won't seem so bad, but to others to find out wouldn't make my life any easier, judgment can be very painful if it comes from the people you love. The point I want to get at is that those experiences helped me deal with what I had to go through when I found out I was pregnant, mentally that is. Me, the church girl, not married (yes, I still consider sex before marriage wrong), knowing the difference between right and wrong, and knowing I can't do the wrong, I did fall a few times and this time I fell hard, because the consequences couldn't just be dealt with and forgotten, this consequence will stick with me for the rest of my life, but fortunately I'm not in this alone, not that I'm happy someone fell with me, but that the person who did, stuck with me. It wasn't easy telling the people who really mattered what had happened, everyone reacted differently to the news, but everyone had something in their reaction that was the same, surprise! One person in particular nearly hit me when she found out, this being my best friend, who sticks with me through thick and thin and who was my partner in many adventures, yes people, the same person that invented the nickname for Peanut, although I don't think she's completely OK with this yet, but I know she's there for me no matter what, no matter how far apart we get (geographically) and no matter how often we see each other. My parents were the least happy of the crowd, I did expect them to react like they did, but they said they're there if I need them and I know they are.

Life has changed a bit since this happened, life is supposed to be in constant change, and so are we, I don't know how much I grew, how much I've changed, but I know I have and I know it won't stop here, I still have a lot to learn from life.

I have a lot of worries, doubts, fears, but I have people to help me if I need them (even if I think I don't), I know there are people that have to go through life alone, I know how blessed I am to have these people in my life, no matter how different we are to each other and even though we might not show each other our appreciation like we should sometimes.

Remember those who stick by you even if they're too far to give you a hug or a kind word when you need one, remember not to judge other's actions, you never know if you'll walk in their shoes one day and remember, life's what you make of it!

*Quicha*
quicha@webmail.co.za